The KFC Double Down Sandwich

Well, folks, here it is.

I know what you're all going to say, and I appreciate it, but the time has come for me to depart this earth. I'll entertain a few questions. For instance, how I will end my life in a pain-free way.

The answer, friends, is the KFC Double Down sandwich. I never said it had to be dignified.

So I saw this lead on GrubGrade and a few other sites and sniffed it out at a KFC near me. I had to get it. It was just disgusting enough for me to have to eat, and oddly enough, seemed to be Atkins-friendly.

I took this photo from Food Geekery, because in my amazement, I never ended up taking photos. How I acquired that was a mystery, really. I went to my local KFC, looked on the menu. No Double Down. But the employees must have been debriefed for such inquiries, because I asked for one, and they delivered.

So how is this monstrosity? Well, it's damned good. I'll tell you that. It reminds me of a MAD Magazine parody a few years back for TGI Friday's where they offered the menu option to replace your bun with two pieces of fried chicken. Oddly enough, that's what this is.

Deconstructing the sandwich. It's two pieces of fried breast fillet, bacon, cheddar cheese, pepper jack cheese, and Colonel's Sauce, which may or may not be semen from Colonel Sanders himself. The breast fillets are like KFC's standard fillets. They're salty. They're greasy. They're delicious and crunchy and crispy. They serve as interesting handles for a sandwich. Not sure if it's the first thing I want my hands all over, but still.

The cheese is quite tasty. It's all melted and gooey and stays nicely on the chicken, and you can taste the individual spicy flavors of the Jack and the sharpness of the cheddar. Quite good. The sauce...I have no idea what it is. Some quick research tells me I could have one of two limited edition sauces, put out by the Colonel in 1964, a selection of a honey rum or a BBQ. I tasted neither, but did taste a creamier flavor, potentially semen or the cheese melting. The bacon was present. Wasn't good, wasn't bad, just added a mildly porky flavor and didn't really add anything to the meal.

So there you have it, folks. Straight from the horse's ass. Do you like it? I don't care. Why? Because I am dying slowly.


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