Spudmaster ColossalChips

It's a rainy day, and I walk in to find a large box of Idaho potatoes by the couch- but wait! They're not Idaho potatoes! They're chips! Chips in boxes!

The Spudmaster potato chips are a breed unto their own. For starters, they have a sexy potato logo on the front, they come in boxes, and they're massive and extremely crunchy. Roomba and I set into them immediately.


The first one we tried was the "Shazam" flavor, which was like a combination of barbecue flavoring and a heat that warmed up and then burnt a little. It was good! The chips are huge. Heed my warnings, children. A few of these chips topped six inches, and none were really under two or three. Each chip was crunchy, to the point of where Roomba took off her headphones and just stared at me crunching for a few minutes.

The flavoring doesn't overwhelm the potato flavor, which is good. Instead, it compliments it and brings out some of the starchier, meatier potato flavors that are often missed with a chip that is too flavorful.

7/10- YUMMY

The "no salt added" chips worried me, because I genuinely enjoy a little salt with my taters. Unfortunately, when you take away the salt, you're left with the potato flavor and the flavor of the cooking oil, and because cooking oil is still left, you get a bit of a greasy flavor.

We agreed that these chips would be great for dipping, because there's no interfering flavors to contend with the dip, but that on their own, they're not as impressive as we'd have liked. The richness of the potato flavor is just bogged down by the oily taste and sheen left in your mouth afterwards. As always, the chips are still massive, in the best possible way.

4/10- OKAY

The last chip was the "original" flavor. I was really surprised to try these because I usually associate the original flavor with a plain salt chip. Instead, these had a really subtle undertone of garlic, onion, paprika, and more, that made us keep eating and eating them. They were excellent!

These chips, like the Shazam flavor, also brought out the best qualities of the potato. There was a creamy, oniony taste that made us think of a loaded baked potato. Overall, these are great! The flavored versions are a lot less greasy, too.

8/10- DELIGHTFUL

Overall, these are really fun, wiggly chips for a barbecue or family gathering. I wouldn't recommend them for on-the-go snacking, as they attract a good deal of attention and with the box, are somewhat unwieldy. But they're tasty!

Taco Bell's Volcano Taco

On the hour of battery life I have left, I'm writing this review to you because I know I'm late. I've been a very bad Foodette and am reaping the punishment now. I'm writing this on a bus, albeit, a spacious one, but a bus nonetheless.

So before this singular and delightful experience, I must say, I was rather dubious of the entire concept of the "fourthmeal" that Taco Bell had been shilling in its advertising. But it was 11:38 PM, FoodZ and I were starving, and the powdered Gatorade and Doritos in the house were not cutting it. Only thing to do was take a trip.

I was hungry, but I didn't want a meal, and I certainly didn't want anything fried from the combination KFC. Realizing that I was late on the whole idea of the volcano menu concept, I still decided that the volcano taco was the right thing to get. And when you order at this particular Taco Bell late at night, they often stock your food with extra food or take an item off your order and give it to you free so they can get rid of extra stuff.

So, the volcano taco. It was tiny, but like Napoleon, it packed a punch and did the job. The shell was bright red, a feature I'd forgotten but much enjoyed, but was inexplicably greasy. It did a good job of holding the food in together and not making a mess. The lettuce was abundant, and I could have done without, but was pleased with how crunchy and fresh it was. The taco was not one that had been sitting for a long time under a heat lamp. The shredded cheese was also superfluous, as the taco had cheese sauce that did the job. It made more of a mess than anything else, and I ended up just scooping it out and eating the remainder of the taco plain.

Honestly, if I could have had a taco, a sandwich, an anything, topped with the beef mixture and the lava sauce, I would. Top garbage with that stuff, honestly. It was delicious. The sauce had a really nice burn, and it's nice to see that Taco Bell isn't afraid to add a little more spice to their products. It was cheesy, gooey, and the beef was spot on good. I like tacos to have a little more moisture. I just think it holds everything together well.

And for the price, it was the perfect thing to satisfy my hunger. I can definitely see this becoming a staple in my food, especially with the quality of meat that they use and the size of the product. I don't need a full meal to feel satisfied. One of these will definitely do the job!

8/10- HOT HOT HOT!

Subway Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki Sandwich

Ah, the day after Thanksgiving. To be fair, I ate this coming home in the bus station, waiting for the ride back to town. And now I'm reviewing it today. It's a favorite. Sandwiches are hard for me, because I'm really picky. I don't eat beef unless it's in tacos, and I think that vegetables, unless they are potatoes, do not belong in a sandwich. I'm a fan of massive, delicious 'wiches, and just don't like to settle.

So I got this in a fit of hunger and desperation, and also because I was so tired of seeing people order freakishly disgusting sandwiches. Tuna fish, pepperoni, and honey mustard? Really? I had my sandwich made on Italian Herbs and Cheese, chicken, the sweet onion sauce, and monterey jack cheese.

I get so flustered when I want to make a sandwich without a previous plan, simply due to the number of permutations I can get. Anyone else have this problem? It's one thing to go somewhere and get a chicken sandwich, but it's another to customize it. I digress, though.

The bread was a little too crispy for my liking, and when the woman made the sandwich, the amount of chicken looked really disproportionate to the amount of bread, despite the fact that she put two trays on. I should have asked for double chicken, but I really didn't want to spend too much money. I'd say that out of the twelve inches of the sandwich, I got chicken in all but 1.5 inches total, which was very good.

The cheese was barely noticeable. If I hadn't ordered it myself and known that it was there, I might not have noticed. It was a shame, because I ordered the monterey jack for a little more flavor. The chicken was nice and tender, unremarkable, but flavorful and had a good chew to it. And the sauce was just disappointing. I tasted teriyaki. I tasted salt and sweet. But I tasted no onion. It was like bathing my chicken in a flavorful syrup and soy sauce mixture. It was a shame. I ate the sandwich, but it just wasn't to my likings as far as a homemade sandwich goes. For that, I require something a little more carefully made, although I do appreciate Subway's range of sauces.

5/10- AVERAGE

Jones Tofurky and Gravy Soda

I don't have a photo of this, but I can assure you, it was as noxious as it looked.

In honor of Thanksgiving, I decided to take one for the team and have some Jones Tofurky Soda, debuted this year. Excuse me, tofurky and gravy. The soda is designed for all masochistic vegans and vegetarians, and believe me, there's quite a demographic. So I bucked up and bought a bottle of this, and decided to try it for an audience of rapt friends.

In short? Utterly disgusting. If you're squeamish, stop now.

In long. Oh, my. First opening it, it's a lovely aroma of cat kitter, Windex, and gravy. The taste is very watery, and not at all like turkey at all, more gravy than anything else. The carbonation is the strange part. I keep expecting it to have the thick texture of gravy, but it's so...not gravy like. It's the Schrodinger's Cat of sodas. Gravy and not gravy.

Overall, it's like a Butterball turkey took me and raised me as one of its own, and sustained my frail little body by vomiting its juices into my mouth. So, for gastro-intestinal taste enthusiasts, this is all systems go. For the rest of the world, stick with what you can chew and leave the libations fruity-flavored.

0/10- INEDIBLE

Happy Thanksgiving!

Flavrz Drink Mixes

Are these for the nature conscious? Certainly not. They've got enough packaging for three Crystal Light drink mixes. Are these for the busy people who need a convenient drink? Not really. The package is full of liquid, and that's kind of strange and hazardous. Does it make the drink better? Does it taste good?

Read on, Foodketeers!

Lame, yes.

Flavrz Drink Concentrates were sent to me by the company for review, in their three flavors: Cherry Berry, Lemon-Lime, and Tropical. They're drink mixers that can be added to 12-20 oz. of water. That's a big margin of flavor for me. It's the difference between that abysmal Dasani "Hint" water and a nice Fruit 2 O. So how are they?

I tried the Cherry Berry in a water bottle. I figured that with the copious amount of liquid, it would be equal to the powder ratio, with a 19.6 oz. recommended mix. It mixed to a nice rose color in the water, but the taste? Bleh. Tasted just like that damned Dasani.

Another thing I noticed which I really, really disliked was the flavor inconsistency. I'm not sure if it was the agave, but inexplicably, I found that there were like, liquid pockets floating around the water, like grease on a burger, where there was more flavor, possibly due to an inability to mix? Whatever it was, it was awful and led me to sip tentatively.

2/10- GROSS

Unfortunately, no photos of that. I can't seem to find the ones I sent to my email address from my cell phone. None of lemon lime, either. But I can save you with tropical.

The lemon-lime, I decided, couldn't be screwed up, and also opted for a smaller ratio of water. I filled my bottle up with twelve ounces and added the liquid, then gave it a good shake to disperse whatever those greasy pockets were before. And then I took a sip.

Awful. Even worse than before. The entire twelve ounces was permeated with a medicinal, metallic taste bearing little resemblance to lemon or lime aside from a strange, not sour acidity and general lack of sweetness to the drink. Horrible. The taste stayed in my bottle for days until I washed it out with boiling water.

1/10- HORRIBLE

Although I was scared to try the last one, life has left me bereft of juice in the last week and I'm thirsty. So I bucked up for the sake of the review and tried it. It's sweet! It's cloying! It's actually sort of tasty, in a strange way! The overall flavor reminds me of coconut, banana, and pineapple, and it comes in a pleasing orange color. Oddly enough, it even has that waxy coconut aftertaste. Hrm.

I don't know how to feel about this. Even after mixing it, there were those strange, unmixed swirls, and I just didn't like them as much as I thought. I'd never buy them unless the concentrations got better, and the greasiness went away. And they're just not convenient for on the go. If I were to take these anywhere, they'd go right in my backpack, and I'd just worry about something puncturing one of them.

4/10- ALL RIGHT

Route 9 Diner, Hadley, MA

Okay, guys, the last local restaurant review before I head home for vacation. I'm technically posting this for Tuesday, though I'll be in classes and also on a bus for about four hours. Ah, the joys of public transportation. Anyhow, onto the review.

This place is a classic staple for students, as it's open 24 hours a day and serves up food you wish you could make, but cannot, because you are drunk or incapable. The menu is horrifyingly expansive and offers selections like breakfast food, amazing sandwiches, phenomenal desserts, and the best waffle fries this side of Chick-Fil-A.

I went with my mother on a brief break in between shows this weekend. I'd been before, but hadn't yet reviewed it because I wanted a more substantial meal to pick apart. I was ravenous, so I ordered the Mt. Holyoke chicken sandwich- fried chicken breast, bacon, BBQ sauce, onion rings, and cheddar cheese on a bun, with waffle fries and a diet Pepsi.

The photo is a little blurry, but there it is, in all its glory. The food came in about ten minutes, record time, but made no indication of being reheated or previously made. It was fresh, fancy, and delicious. I don't like coleslaw, so I gave it to my mother. The sandwich itself was a monster. The bun wasn't toasted, which I like, and also had melted cheddar cheese on both sides of the bun, enveloping the contents in a gooey seal.

The chicken was phenomenal. It was uniformly cooked to perfection, crispy, slightly greasy, and very flavorful. I don't know how well it would have served as a solo dish (as opposed to Lenny and Joe's,) but it's delicious "sandwich chicken" and that makes everything all right. The bacon was perfectly cooked, but was unfortunately overshadowed by the onion rings. I think that this sandwich could have been better made with onion straws, as they give the taste and crunch of rings without the strange texture. Some of the onions slipped out of the breading as I bit, and that's a textural component I cannot abide in the least. The BBQ sauce was there, but in the tiniest, quarter-sized pool on top of one side of the chicken and made some appearances on one side of the sandwich, but that was as far as it went.

8/10- FILLING

As far as the waffle fries go, they are sublime. I'd say that in each serving, at least 60% of the fries are large, waffly slices, and at least 25% of the fries are large enough that you have to unhinge your jaw to eat whole. They come piping hot and are orange and seasoned with magical spices, but are not greasy and acid-inducing like some fries. They are crunchy in some areas, soft in others, and utterly addictive.

What I also like about the waffle fries is that they're not uniform. I like it when there's a slight cut that uses the really meaty end of the potato, as opposed to the standard sticks. If anything, they might need a little more salt. But trust me, if you're going to Route 9 Diner, don't order anything on the side but these fries. If you order them as a side order, they come piled high on a plate the size of your head. Trust me, though. You'll finish them.

9/10- MOUTH-WATERING

Route 9 Diner
458 Russell St. #11
Hadley, MA, 01035

Rao's Coffee, Amherst, MA

To all 98% of my non-Massachusetts readers, (see, I do check up on my Google Analytics!)

I'm terribly sorry for doing all of these local restaurant reviews, but I keep eating out, and the food is so good, and it seems a shame to not review them for others! I have two more of these, and then it's back to the regular stuff for a while- new and exciting developments in the snacky world.

In the meantime, it's rainy and disgusting, which makes me want to go home all the more. Instead, I sucked it up because I have a day and a half left, and went to Rao's coffee after getting my overdraft fees together. (This is why there's a donation button! Hint hint!)

I saw these cupcakes, giant strawberry and vanilla babies, about two weeks ago and decided that at some point, I just had to have one. It was a beautiful and large, glistening treat, and for $2.71, it was a good deal, too.

The cake is massive. It's more of a small cake. It was tall enough to prevent closing the little container it came in and hefty enough to throw at a robber to fend them off. I've eaten 1/4 of it so far and might chip away at it before relinquishing it to Roomba. It's a dense vanilla pound cake with pretty piped strawberry buttercream on top. The buttercream is pink with little bits of real strawberries in it.

Now, buttercream is a fickle beast. The best buttercream is fresh and airy, a fluffy cream that you can bite into without getting a waxy taste over your mouth, which makes it greasy and disgusting. It's flavorful and delicious and provides the right moisture for a cupcake. It's like fondant- very easy to mess up, but utterly addictive if you get it right.

This is not the best buttercream I've ever had, far from it, in fact. The mouthfeel tastes as though the cupcake was frozen and then just thawed, and the strawberry flavor is overshadowed, aside from a small hint, by an overwhelming coffee flavor that comes from the shelves being too close to the grinder, and the frosting absorbing the taste. The aftertaste is not greasy, thank goodness, but delicate. The texture may throw people off, though.

The cake itself is more of a crumbly muffin than a cupcake. It's a little too dense, like a pound cake, but doesn't hold together quite as nicely. (My prerequisite for a pound cake is from my grandmother's close friends in Georgia- one cake has twelve eggs and six sticks of butter. How's that for comparison?) It, too, carried that slight hint of coffee flavor, but overall, had a really nice, rounded, buttery taste.

Together, they are decent. I cut my pieces into individual bites and respread the buttercream. It was okay, not my favorite. Hopefully there will be some Four and Twenty Blackbirds desserts to review for my Connecticut crew! That's a place that makes good sweets.


4/10- ALL RIGHT

With this, I had a chocolate Chai iced tea to drink. I don't have any photos of that, so I've decided to overcompensate by taking more cupcake photos. The CCIT was really tasty, but came in a cup that was at least 50% ice, and that's not fair at all. I paid $4.49 for a small drink in a 12 oz. cup and it was probably about 5% chocolate syrup, 25% water, 15% milk, and 5% Chai tea. It was delicious, don't get me wrong. The flavors mingled really well and it was cool and creamy and very evenly distributed with the chocolate, but for the price, I feel like I ought to be getting a little more drink and a little less filler. Even Starbucks doesn't have the audacity to price that high.

6/10- GOOD

Rao's Coffee
17 Kellogg Ave.
Amherst, MA, 01003

Bruno's Pizza, Amherst, MA

I'm doing two posts today because I missed out on yesterday and Friday, and, well, because you deserve it! I've been in a show all weekend, and after the shows I either go home and sleep or hang out with some friends. Friday night, I went back to the dorm and ordered a party pizza with some awesome friends from my dorm, Kottke, Woot, and C.

It was from Bruno's, a local college pizza staple. Amherst has some really excellent pizza places. Bruno's might not be my first choice for taste and variety, but it delivers a really excellent and solid cheese pizza.

For $20, this is a really excellent deal. The pizza is extremely large- I'm not entirely sure how big, because the menu doesn't say, but it's quite large. It's cut into 24 pieces, so, six per person for our little party. The pizza's crust is good- it's not too thick or doughy, and it's cooked well, with a nice cornmeal crunch on the bottom and no mushy patches of uneven dough. The pizza is cut into squares instead of slices, so the corner pieces have a much higher ratio of crust and that sometimes gets overwhelming. On the converse, the middle pieces are sometimes very messy.

The sauce is not bad. It's one of those sweet pizza sauces, a little too sugary for my liking, and sometimes runny, but not bad. The cheese was also good and toasty, but spotty in places, and there were some areas when I had parts of just bread and sauce, which is a little strange. It wasn't at all greasy, either.

Overall, I like Bruno's. It's a fun pizza to gulp down while hanging out with friends. It's no gourmet, but it's the experience of a massive pizza thing that's half the fun.

7/10- GOOD

Bruno's Pizza
363 Main St.
Amherst, MA, 01003

Pioneer Valley Pizza, Amherst, MA

This pizza is the first and foremost hangover remedy for UMass and other four-college kids. What is it? It's Pioneer Valley Pizza, aka, PVP's, famous buffalo chicken gourmet pizza. It's simple. It's very tasty, and it's the perfect wake-up call after a long night partying.

I had this today after waking up around two. My production of Sweeney Todd ended last night and there was a large cast party, so I slept quite late today after that, and then realized that I was starving. This pizza is delicious- it's a little expensive, $11 for a medium, but it is a specialty pie. It's a cheese pizza topped with pieces of buffalo chicken tenders, blue cheese, and hot sauce.

PVP is all right with delivery. Sometimes they have trouble finding my dorm, which is odd because I've ordered with them at least six times, and the pizza is lukewarm when I get it. The selection of the menu is good, with wings, calzones, and assorted pizzeria goodness.

So, the pizza itself! It's not a very big pie for eleven dollars. At the rate you're going, it's about $1/square inch for a medium pie. The toppings are interesting. If there are any complaints I have, it's that you can't eat this normally because if you eat it by biting the triangular way and don't have a freakishly large mouth, you don't get an even distribution of toppings and wind up with mouthfuls of blue cheese one bite and chicken the next. However, this pizza does lend itself perfectly to the case of folding into a pizza sandwich, and that makes everything mix together nicely.

The best thing about this pizza is the creaminess of all the cheeses and sauces, but not so creamy that it takes the chicken, which is fresh and very crispy, and mushes it down and makes it soft. There is nothing more disgusting than soft and mushy crust on chicken, which is why I generally order grilled chicken on pizza. But this is perfectly cooked chicken, and when you bite it, actually breaks instead of falling off, splattering molten hot sauce on your face and shirt.

It's good. Order it with friends, order it when you're hungry. It's filling and tasty. The calzones are good, too. So far, from my limited view of PVP's menu, their food is quite tasty.

7/10- NICE

Pioneer Valley Pizza
20 Belchertown Road
Amherst, MA, 01002

The Pita Pit, Worcester DC, Amherst, MA

I haven't had good experience with this restaurant so far, so I decided to give it one last try before giving it the old heave-ho into the restaurant and food graveyard. It's problematic. It's open so late, and only three steps from my dorm, and uses YCMP, which means I don't have to dig into my bank account, but the quality has just been so low.

First time I went, I ordered a falafel pita, no vegetables, with extra hummus and tahini, and received little more than a crumbly pita folded over falafel "spread," and it was cold and mushy and quite disgusting and stale. I took a bite and threw it out.

The second time I went to order a chicken sandwich with fries, only to discover that there were no fries, and even though they were open until 1 AM, they shut off the grill at 11:45, for no reason at all. So I left empty-handed.

I went one last time, only as a last resort, and my roommate came with me, paying for my meal since I've used up all my swipes on the Massive Glutwich- another post, I promise. It's only the most delicious sandwich I've ever had. So I went and ordered the chicken combo meal- a buffalo chicken sandwich with fries and a drink. I expected Wings quality because that's the standard by which all chicken is judged now, and went to eat my meal.

Well, they shut off the fryer at 11:45 and it was 11:46. In fact, I saw the guy try to put some fries in but was chastised by the manager. Two or three minutes later, especially when customers are willing to pay, is rather unreasonable to simply shut off the entire operation. So, no fries. The chicken sandwich was grilled rather than fried, which is healthy, but not nearly as satisfying as the saucy, crunchy Wings chicken. Another point off. The chicken was soft and tender, though, and covered the entirety of the bun, which was fluffy and fell apart rather easily. The buffalo sauce was nothing spectacular, but it was spicy and tasty.

Overall, my experience was average. Roomba got a hummus pita, which she said was satisfying, but not the best thing she's ever had. Too hummus heavy. It's not enough to make me rush out and go back, and it certainly didn't satiate my hunger, but it was all right for the time being and definitely satisfied my need for a hot meal at midnight.

6/10- AVERAGE

The Pita Pit
Worcester Dining Commons, UMass Amherst
Amherst, MA, 01003

Andiamo Restaurant, Amherst, MA

I was absolutely starving when I got back from practice tonight. Turns out my roommate was, too, so we decided to try this restaurant whose menu had recently been slipped under our door. They're a modern Italian place, with panini and salads, and with free delivery, it was hard to pass up!

Delivery took almost no time at all, which was great, and our sandwiches were hot when we got them. I ordered the Levante, which is a baguette pressed with chicken breast, fresh mozzarella, pesto, and sundried tomato aioli inside.

The overall sandwich is about a footlong. Compare this to Subway, though, and it's about $8, total. A good price for good, fresh ingredients as opposed to Subway's more mass produced stuff. The baguette is crisp, but not as crisp as I'd like it. It's a chewier baguette, and when I eat my panini, I like them to be crispy and buttery on the outside. It does have grill marks, though.

The sandwich is really good and soft, the fillings, that is. I'm always worried when I order a sandwich with grilled chicken that there will be one, tough breast piece that will slide out and fall away. This prevents that. There are neat little strips in it that melt along with everything and taste awesome. The chicken is perfectly cooked. The mozzarella isn't as noticeable as I'd like. I like fresh mozzarella to be gooey and prominent in a sandwich, and it's unfortunately overshadowed by the sauces. It's a little odd, the distribution. On one side, there's the pesto, which is good and basily and salty, and the sundried tomato aioli on the other. I don't know what to make of the aioli. On one hand, I was relieved that there weren't any chunks of sundried tomato, which nauseate me as much as mushrooms, but on the other hand, the definition of "aioli" was used rather loosely, more for pretension than actual literal ingredients.

By definition, an aioli is a sauce made with garlic and olive oil. This seemed to be a mayonnaise if anything else, and had a sharp and vinegary taste that left a bitter flavor and also overpowered some of the sandwich's other aspects. You can order chips with your sandwich, too. I find it a bit of a cop-out, because they charge $1.89 for a small bag of Kettle Chips, where I'd much rather have fries or another complementing side.

Italian, this is. Perfect, it's not. Go with simplicity and order the Levante without the aioli. It will taste better. And ask them to grill it extra.

6/10- GOOD

Roomba ordered the Andiamo salad without portabella mushrooms, but it came with the mushrooms. She describes it as the fancy poor man's salad, and that the addition of ranch dressing to a salad with bitter greens, arugula, and avocado really took away the beauty of the fancy salad. And picking out the mushrooms was just awful- to quote Up, our new favorite film, "We do not like the mushrooms of shame."

6/10- OKAY

Andiamo Restaurant
485 West Street
Amherst, MA, 01003

Flamin' Hot Cheetos

Sometimes I just need a spicy snack to get me through a long rehearsal. The nice thing about spicy foods is the chemistry behind them. They irritate the trigenimal nerve, which is responsible for facial sensation, and endorphins are them released to help soothe it. So they keep me happy and relatively sedated, especially in times of tension. And they wake my mouth up, too!

So these Cheetos are awesome. The packaging is different from the other bags- Chester has flames shooting out of his mouth, and there's a little Element flame critter running across the bag. As far as taste goes, these are like the crunchy reincarnation of Frank's Hot Sauce. They're a nuclear orange color. They're still crunchy and, oddly enough, have about 1/3 of the residue that normal Cheetos have. There might be more oil, but less powder. I'm not sure why aside from that, but it sure is nice.

Taste-wise, these are mild. At first. Eat one or two, you'll get a tiny burn, but keep eating them, which you will do, as they are addictive, and you'll get a full-on burn in the back of your throat, front of your mouth- everywhere. There's no cheesy flavor. No barbecue. Just pure hot, and it's awesome. There's a slight aftertaste of lemon or lime, or something like that, which leads me to believe that Cheetos Limon might have just been these, or the other way around. Awesome, awesome, awesome- but potentially too hot for some.

8/10- SPICY GOOD

Twix PB

I first saw these on a commercial in maybe, 2000, 2001, where a guy took peanut butter and put it in a CD player and instead of screwing up the internal circuitry, the boom box played awesome, legume inspired tunage. I figured they were a limited edition snack and were then gone forever, but lo and behold, I found them in a local convenience store and had to try them.

These are the reincarnation of a far better snack, folks. Yes, I'm referring to the Reese's Crunchy Cookie Cup. Probably one of the best Reese's snacks, it was discontinued in 2000, never to be seen again. But in a more compact form, this is it. It's got the salty and oddly textured peanut butter that we all love, milk chocolate, and a crunchy cookie base. The cookie itself is an almost bitter chocolate that I like, reminiscent of Nabisco Famous Wafers. It cuts the saccharine sweetness of the chocolate. With normal Twix, I find that the cookie gets soggy with the caramel and doesn't crisp as much as I'd like it to.

With this bar, you get a lot more peanut butter than I would have expected, which is good. There's a certain portability that makes this better than the CCC. If Twix keeps this around, I'll be buying it again. It's really delicious and excellent for nut and cookie lovers.

Oh, and I'm back to using my own photos again!

9/10- NUTTY

New layout and improvements...

Finally, someone sent me an email regarding the site's content and personal issues that they have with the site. Although this person did mention that they will not be returning to the website for a few reasons, I have some announcements to make for all my other readers.

1. I am looking into getting my own domain, www.foodette-reviews.com, and have a donation button up for raising money to purchase it until I can get it myself, and will be doing some of the layout design myself to avoid using all the default stuff. I might need some help with this as I am very busy, but you can expect to see this up by this summer.

2. I am also changing up the rating system. The scales will still be out of ten, but will be similar to Gigi's format, with an image and rating corresponding to the scale. For now, I realize the fraction is pedantic, but it will stay until the new one comes up.

3. I have taken off the OpenID/sign in format for commenting, and I expect it to be followed and not abused. I had the settings on from another personal blog and never took them off, but now realize what a hassle it is to comment especially if you're only interested in saying a few words. Too many bells and whistles. But with great power comes great responsibility. Don't fuck around in the comments, minions!

That's it for now. Expect more photos, more reviews, and more fun!

Foodette

Arizona Mango Iced Tea (Half and Half)

I drank this on a 14-hour work day to see how well it would hydrate and sustain me while doing hard manual labor in a scene shop, as I am in an upcoming production of Sweeney Todd.

The result? A really tasty drink that carries the best of both specific beverages- Arizona's regular iced tea and their mango juice- without the bad stuff.

The best part of the mango juice is the nectar-like texture that goes down your throat, almost a thicker, lassi-like depth to it, but sometimes gets sticky in the back of the throat and all the sugar tends to dry you out. The syrupy texture is cut by the tea's watery texture, and the bitterness of the tea is sweetened by the mango. It's a really perfect drink.

8/10- LOVELY

Doritos Smokin' Cheddar BBQ

I cannot be the only one who is absolutely delighted that these are back! I thought they'd disappeared forever, going back to the realms of guacamole and X-13D. These were a promotion a while back, butting heads with the less tasty White Cheddar. For a while, they left, and are now back under another promotion, the likes of which I cannot ascertain.

They're really spicy for a cheese and BBQ flavor. The flavor is overwhelmingly barbecue-based but has a really nice spice at the end, like a cayenne flavor to it. And the heat definitely lingers! The cheese is definitely less felt, but gives a creamy and rounded flavor to the chip as a whole. I'm not sure I'd be able to distinguish a particularly "cheddar-y" flavor, though.

All the chips in my bag were whole and unbroken and were really crunchy and fresh. There is a healthy dose of powder on each chip, as opposed to some of the regular flavors. Frito-Lay has gotten really lazy with those. But these pop in my mouth and are really tasty. An excellent snack. I'd love to make nachos with these or eat them with pulled pork. They seem really versatile for other flavors, too.

9/10- AWESOME

Ocean Spray 100% Juice

This is a tasty juice that I like to drink when I'm sick. The reason I buy it over a cranberry juice cocktail is because it's so much more fresh and hydrating than the latter. The added sugar in a juice cocktail really sticks in the throat and tends to dry you out, hydrating much less than you want!

This particular juice is really excellent, carrying a massive boost of antioxidants and flavorful berries. It's not actually 100% cranberry juice, they've worded it very carefully. It's 100% "juice," flavored with grape and apple juice as well as cranberry, but if you served me this and a full-on cranberry in a blind taste test, I honestly couldn't tell the difference. It's completely cranberry flavored and completely delicious.

8/10- DELIGHTFUL

Japanese Kua Aina Hamburger Potato Chips

Another J-List phenomenon. This is one of the most involved bag designs I've ever seen- with a luscious hamburger, and then, a cartoon hamburger, and the chips, and tourist designs, and all manner of things, all with multiple exclamation points and Japanese writing.

Oy.

This is another Doritos snack from Frito-Lay Japan, and from the obvious signs, should taste like hamburger. The chip is thick and crispy, corn-based, and as thick as the massive bag that it comes out of. The flavor was quite disappointing to me. There was definitely an aspect of hamburger, but certainly not the greasy goodness portrayed on the bag. If anything, this "hamburger" was about as much burger as the burger listed in the corner of a menu under "Dietary Pleasures," with four ounces of beef, lightly charred, and nothing else. The flavor is very subtle, with a charcoal taste and a slight beefy aftertaste. And corn. The corn base.

These just disappointed me. I expected a good deal of flavoring, like a nice powder with a little tomato tang, a good deal of cheese, even mayonnaise, and a solid beef flavor to round it off, but these just brought nothing to the table. Save the flashy graphics and get a real snack.

3/10- ICKY

Fresh Side, Amherst, MA

I realize that my restaurant reviews have been far and few in between, so here's a little something that I tried today. I've been sick, so my palate might be a bit...off. If it is and you've eaten any of my last few reviews and demand a re-try, comment now or forever hold your peace!

On a side note, not a single soul who marked "other" on my survey of what to improve has made a motion to let me in on the secret improvements. Tell me! Please!

So Mangia Massachusetts took care of me today. I have a bad case of sinusitis and have been laid up in bed, accompanied by many restless nights of rehearsal and various activities. It's not good. So she babied me today and got me lunch, among other things. She picked up some soup from Fresh Side, a local organic Thai restaurant.

I had a coconut curry soup, and MM had a five-spiced beef soup, and we split an order of Pad Thai tea rolls. The coconut curry soup was a different surprise for me. I expected a traditional coconut soup, a creamy and sweet one, with pistachios, but this was a salty soup.

The soup is made fresh, when you order it, and came with snap peas, scallions, pieces of firm tofu, pieces of bamboo, and tiny cellophane noodles. It really is delicious and the coconut milk makes it starchy without being too flavorful. I was a little disappointed in that there wasn't more coconut flavor, but the textures were amazing. No two were alike- the snap peas were crispy and sweet, the tofu soaked up the spices from the broth, the noodles were al dente. It was lovely. The broth itself was good, too. A nice spice with a slight burn at the back of your throat.

5/10- YUM

MM had the five-spice beef. She liked that it had big chunks of beef and many noodles. The spicy flavor was good at first, but wound up being too strong at the end and numbed up her taste buds, and from then on, everything tasted muted and bland. Her soup also tested the title of "fresh and organic." In her soup, she found a little wormy! He might have snuck in with the fresh vegetables, but still, a rather unappealing surprise. The portions are also big. Neither of us was able to finish the soup!

7/10- LOVELY

And then we split a tea roll, with pad thai fillings- rice noodles, egg, chicken, and peanuts, with peanut sauce on the side. It was like an Asian burrito. It was lovely, and so filling! The textures were wonderful and not gummy or too thick, and the peanuts crunched. With the sauce, it was perfect! I could have eaten two of those on my own, I think. They were wonderful.

9/10- MMMM!

Fresh Side Restaurant
61 Main Street
Amherst, MA, 01003

Trader Joe's Ready-To-Bake Chunky Chocolate Chip Cookies

Mmmmm.

These are really good cookies. But they're really bad to eat when you're sick and it is ill advised to consume dairy.

Sometimes, though, you don't care. Not one little bit.


Enter Trader Joe's freezer cookies. They come in a box and are individually cut so that if one wishes to consume one cookie, one can do so. Likewise with five. Or sixteen, which is what I did, to make for Roomba and I to snack on. So I made these, cooked them. They were easy and the fact that they are in pre-cut and weighed pieces makes them cook evenly. Always a plus.


The entire process was easy. I mean, it's not rocket science, but it's also more convenient than using multiple bowls and utensils when you can just pop open a package and throw the cookies in the oven. But you knew that. So, the cookies. I baked them for 18 minutes, though the recommended time for crispy cookies was 14 minutes. Either the cookies are more raw than I think, or my oven just sucks.


I let them cool, and then bit into one. They were really delicious. There was a nice crust around the cookie, which gave a bit of a bite to it, but also allowed the soft, gooey inside to melt out. The texture was a little grainy and slightly greasy from the level of butter in these cookies, but that's relatively excusable. Also a little thicker and chubbier than I normally like. But these cookies are excellent for the minimal amount of work they take and are sure to impress!

8/10- NUMMY

Questions for fellow bloggers...

Hey, guys,

In 2010, I'm doing a little more business-related philandering to break into the trade and also to foist off some of my fancy, new business cards!


I was invited to the National Restaurant Association's show in Chicago, then to the National Candy Expo, held the day after, also in Chicago, and plan to attend the Summer Fancy Food Show in NYC, in June. So I have a big year ahead of me.

My questions for you are, has anyone been to these shows? I know Cybele and others have, but I don't know if they were there from a press perspective or as attendees. Are they friendly? How should one approach them? What else goes on? If anyone has information on these specific expositions, or any food expo in general, please email me. I'm excited about these but want to approach them constructively!

Foodette

Simply Raspberry Lemonade

I bought this on a whim last night from the convenience store on campus. I'd seen other kids buying this and liking it, and since I did want juice, I figured there was nothing to lose. Aside from $2.29, that is.

Now, this is a pretty tiny bottle. And I bought my gallon of Arnold Palmer for $3.39, so I was skeptical about this gourmet juice from the start! I came home and popped its top off like an eager pubescent boy. And I drank.

It smelled clean and fresh, and tasted like a good cup of lemonade, as though I were driving in the Hamptons and some kids had a lemonade stand with their nannies and a few professional chefs, and this is what they gave me for the low price of $2.29 a cup. But that's all it is. And if these kids tried to shill their pink lemonade as raspberry flavored, I'd be liable to smack them upside the head and get arrested or fed to their attack dogs.

The deal is, it's really not raspberry at all. There are floral notes, you can smell it, but you can't taste it unless you try hard. This isn't cherry limeade. The flavors don't comingle in a delicious bliss. The lemonade is the star of the show and that's it. Bottom line, I'm better off with a gallon of Tampico, baby.

3/10- UNIMPRESSIVE

Buffalo Chicken Hot Pocket

Okay, normally I'm a fan of all things Hot Pocket. Comes with the territory, I'm a Jim Gaffigan fan and a college student. But last night, dear readers, in a drunken haze, I attempted to consume something so horrendous I cannot even believe I'm here to report the news.

So it's a Hot Pocket, advertised innocuously as pieces of chicken in a buffalo sauce. Okay. But then you look at the ingredient list, and that's where the utter horror kicks in.

"Chopped and formed chicken with binder and caramel added." So the regular normal chicken wasn't good enough, so they processed it, ground it up, and made it into neat, little uniform chunks- chicken ice cubes, if you will, and added caramel to color it like...dark meat?

This makes the chicken gooey and taste like mushy tofu. And the buffalo sauce, I figured, might redeem the strangeness of this true mystery meat, but no! It was the spiciest, most acidic sauce I have ever had. Even the strange bread didn't redeem it. I took two bites and left it, staring in my beer haze...something...is...not...right...

0/10- INEDIBLE

Adore A Jar Bakery Treats

A few things from Adore A Jar...clearly, things in jars are the newest trend! Move over, chipotles and sea salt!

The first cake was a "Cha Cha Chocolate Cake" and it was quite good. The cake was very moist and rather dense and tasted less like chocolate than cinnamon, actually, with a very subtle chocolate flavor. It was interesting. With the chocolate frosting, I'd have definitely considered it a chocolate cake, but without, I'm not sure that I would have been able to ascertain what flavor it was and definitely would not have considered it chocolate. I asked my roommate to do a blind test, and she thought it was zucchini bread. Not sure what the deal is, but it definitely needs more chocolate.

5/10- CONFUSING

The frosting "caboose" that was sent along was really delicious. It was a rich chocolate frosting that was extremely fluffy, and had a subtle marshmallow-y taste. It was really nice, and I'm going to use it in the future to spread on other confections.

8/10- TASTY

The next jar cake was a Guinness gingerbread cake. You could smell the Guinness as soon as you popped open the jar, and the alcoholic flavor was extremely concentrated. I liked the flavor of the gingerbread, but because of the intensity of the alcohol, I'm not sure how well this translated into a jar cake. It was interesting, but a little strong for my tastes. Again, props to the moist texture!

5/10- OKAY

The protein bar was unfortunately, one of the worst things I have ever attempted to consume. In its defense, there was a lot of protein, but this definitely needs work. The taste was oaty, date-like, and awfully strange. In addition to that, the structure of the bar wouldn't have been convenient to the prime demographic of protein-bar eaters. It was gooey, too soft, and very squishy. Whatever was wrong with it was just not good. The combination of flavors made me spit it out.

0/10- INEDIBLE

The next treat was really delicious! Emily's Vegan Chocolate Chip Banana "muffies"- a cross between a cookie and a muffin. They were awesome. The texture was nice and oaty. I feel like this would make an even better protein bar, as it was so filling! They were the perfect combination of a subtle banana flavor and the punch of chocolate chips. I am definitely going to buy these for my vegan friend Sherlock! A great snack that can easily be dressed up and added to a dessert or fly solo.

8/10- AWESOME

The last treat was a lemon bar. I wasn't as impressed with the taste or texture of this as I like my lemon bars to contrast a little. A good lemon bar has a tangy flavor with a jellified top, offset by a crunchy or at least textured crust, and a little sugar on top to take off some bite. This lemon bar was too gooey and soft. The overall thought in my mind was that it was doughy, like an underbaked pie crust. It wasn't as good as I feel a lemon bar ought to be.

4/10- MEH.

Adore A Jar Bakery
www.adoreajarbakery.etsy.com

Reese's Crispy Crunchy Bar

I keep relenting to the allure of the vending machines at school when I need a quick fix, as my school's rather inconvenient dining hall policy is limited to just that- the dining hall, and sometimes there's just not enough time. The hassle of being at a massive university, but I suffer through with as much grace as I can, ha ha.

So, this bar. It was $1.25 and I expected it to be worth that much, because when you're paying $1.25 for 1.2 ounces, you're paying $10 a pound. Wanna know what else you can buy for $10 a pound? Really good tilapia. Or snow crab legs. Or good coffee. So if this disappointed, I vowed to cry.

Well, let's cut to the chase. It disappointed. It's not that it was bad, it was just misadvertised. I suppose that if this had been called the "Reese's Mushy Soft Bar," it would have dissuaded customers, but been honest. There were crunchy moments, like with the peanuts, but when I expected parts to be brittle and crispy, like the peanut butter crisp, they just fell flat under the immense softness of the chocolate and peanut butter layer. I'm sure the elements work wonderfully separately, but together, were just, in the words of the college kids around me, a hot mess.

So yeah. Not a good bar, hefty as it was. I'd have rather had a more peanut butter crisp centric bar, with less chocolate, and maybe a little less peanut butter. But you'll never hear me say that again!

2/10- LAME

Crystal Light Strawberry Slurpee

Ah, my first flirt with Slurpees for a long, long time. We had an awesome 7-11 near my high school that I used to frequent for most of my freshman year until it closed down. And now I'm in a town with like, three of them within bus distance. It's super.

So I went with my friend Death Cake (DC) and we grabbed some. They didn't have the limited edition Domo Apple Slurpee- yet- so we settled for a recommendation of the Crystal Light Slurpees from the kid at the register. Apparently there are many Crystal Light flavors of Slurpee, including a cherry limeade that I feel like I'd be extremely partial to.

We got little cups, 'cause I'm no pig and in this weather could probably catch pneumonia from a Big Gulp, though there were these crazy Guitar Hero controller shaped cups that could hold like, thirty thousand ounces of Slurpee. Overkill, but awesome. The drink was good. I didn't expect it to be fizzy, but it was, to the point where it expanded in the cup like cream on milk and rose above the level that I filled it to.

The flavor was tasty, very berry-esque and true to the actual drink, but extremely sour, at times, too sour for my personal preference. It was good. It also melted extremely fast, and half the fun of a Slurpee is that strange, thick texture that we all know and love.

6/10- GOOD

Kettle Chips Salt and Pepper

I bought these for my friend, Sherlock, because Cape Cod makes their salt and pepper chips with whey. Really? Is it so hard to make a salt and pepper potato chip and not use dairy? But I digress.

So we ate these with hummus while watching a movie, and to be quite honest, they were really not as good as I'd hoped. My standard for salt and pepper chips is Utz or Herr's, with the crispy thinness and massive application of seasoning. I've eaten entire bags of those.

These were just disappointing. Out of ten chips, nine were basically transparent. And these weren't thin slices, either. These were big, crunchy, stabby pieces of potato chip, and still really greasy and clear! There was no salt flavor to speak of. None at all. There was a light dusting of pepper, but the overwhelming taste was...grease.

I guess the most redeeming quality of these chips was that they will never go stale. I keep thinking I'll want to eat them, eat some, find that they're still very crispy, but bland and tasteless, and then put them away for another week. If you like bland, too thick, greasy chips, these are for you. A real miss on the part of Kettle Foods. Take my advice- for your salt and pepper craving, eat Terra or Utz.

2/10- SUCKAGE

Arizona Iced Tea Lite Arnold Palmer

Here's a drink that I like to keep around the dorm to remind me of summer and to quench me whenever I'm in need of a refreshing drink. It's the classic Arnold Palmer- half iced tea, half lemonade, but this version doesn't burden you down with all the calories and sugar that most soft drinks have. Each 8 oz. serving has fifty calories and just 13 grams of sugar.

But how does it taste? It's really delicious. The flavor is nice and mellow, with a good lemony aftertaste and a nice "tea" flavor, too. At times, there's a slightly bitter aftertaste, which dissuades me from drinking too much of it, but the flavor is well rounded and I definitely taste both lemonade and tea.

The "lite" part is barely noticable, in fact, it's almost better than the regular version because it's less sugary and doesn't make you thirstier.

8/10- YUMMY

Ingrid's Peanut Butter Cups

Sent to me last night on a rainy day...the perfect early breakfast treat! And yes, for me, 2:27 PM is early breakfast. I'm in college, let me be!

I tried a white chocolate peanut butter cup first. The chocolate was good, very tasty, like a nice melting chocolate, but there was not enough peanut butter in the ratio to chocolate, I found. With peanut butter cups, this can make the chocolate melt really well or be too crunchy if there's not enough, which I found to be the case.

It wasn't bad, but the creaminess of the white chocolate really detracted from the peanut butter and if I hadn't known it was a peanut butter cup from its iconic shape, I might not have thought so.

4/10- ALL RIGHT

The chocolate one fared a little better. The thickness was still prominent and the chocolate had a bit of a waxy taste. I'm not sure. The rule about candy sort of applies with the same rule of things like toy boats. Surface area increase and size increase are different, and what tastes perfect on a tiny peanut butter cup won't taste as good on a novelty, three-pound cup. Too thick. Bottom line. Not enough peanut butter flavor.

5/10- OKAY

www.ingridsgoodies.blogspot.com
Ingrid's Goodies