Lindt Ice Coffee Bar

One time, and keep in mind, this was about three weeks back, we did not have an air conditioner. We were hot and sweaty and irritable, had no interest in the fetid refuse of a community pool, and needed to cool down.

We improvised quite well, I'd say, and after ten minutes filling the tub, setting the fan up, and getting Parks and Rec on the laptop, we were in business. It was better than a pool. We could adjust the temperature and drink iced coffees, and there were no children sporadically urinating. It was that kind of cooling down and refreshing summer feeling that I was looking for when I picked up this bar, one that Lindt calls a summertime treat, and split it with Keepitcoming.This bar was not evocative of a fresh iced coffee. While it was good, with high-quality white chocolate and an ample amount of filling, the overall effect was just too sweet. Comparing it to the iced coffee we made, this was a rather paltry substitute. The bar consisted of a coffee creme filling with coffee bean pieces, all covered in white chocolate. That was the first mistake. The white chocolate, which was perfect in the Vosges bar because of the balance of sweet and zesty, had nothing to balance it out and was overwhelmingly sugary, like my middle school guidance counselor.The coffee filling was a noble concept. It's nice to try to make something that emulates a classic summer drink, but it just falls short. The creme was less of a whipped, ice cream texture than a hydrogenated, sugary, slightly greasy mouthfeel, and that was pretty off-putting. The coffee bean bits were the most welcome flavor and textural difference, allotting a good, bitter roast to seep onto the tongue. Unfortunately, these bits were far and few between, the only remote hint of any coffee flavor resting in this bar. It was as satisfying as waiting a half hour for a watered down Frappucino, and around the same price. I'd rather have an iced coffee and my improvised pool.

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