Boo Berry Fruit Roll-Ups

Holy cow, it's fucking October. I now have a reason, nay, a motivation, to start breaking out the sweet Halloween snacks. Now that I have a Target a mere five minutes away, temptation beckons with her sweet painted fingernails and shows me a bounty of Halloween themed edibles that need to show up on the blog.

So bear with me for the next month and let's hearken back to the imaginary filaments of my youth- a Hollywood tainted childhood coupled with Fruit Roll-Ups, Lunchables, Capri Sun, and Hey Arnold. Finding these Boo Berry snacks was a double header for me, because not only did it combine the crushing yearly disappointment of Boo Berry, but also brought me back to the 4th grade.Swagger and I sat in his impossibly adorable car and ate these to an audience of shoppers. They were jealous of our swag and we knew it. Everyone who has passed through elementary school knows the basic composition of a Fruit Roll-Up, so I'll cut to the chase. Quintessential chemically creamy smell, often printed with pixelated images that put Girls Gone Wild to shame, and flavored with any fruit on a slab of candy resembling linoleum. For the record, I am proud to say that I have never seen acai berry in one of these.Unfortunately for Boo Berry, it fails to deliver any of my completely unrealistic Halloween expectations. I mean, you don't understand. I opened seven packages to find the best dyed picture of Boo himself and got almost nothing. The flavor was simple, despite acting under the name Razzle Boo Blitz. Pimp or fruit snack? It was like eating the dried remnants of blue raspberry sno-cone syrup, and wasn't really anything to write home about.If I looked really closely, I saw a slight sparkle, so I'm assuming this was either a small, snappy design snark at Twilight, or the aftermath of a night of watching Big Money Rustlas and eating burritos. Aside from that, it was pretty standard.

Nevertheless, this was a much better start to Halloween than filming myself dancing to The Monster Mash in my dorm room. I hope you agree.

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