Taco Bell Pacific Shrimp Burrito

I've been unfaithful.

I'm scaring the neighbors.

Keepitcoming and I have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Sometimes I'll go out in the car for a few hours during odd times of the night, and I may fill up the tank or pick up groceries or just go out and drive, but when I come back, she can always tell where I've been. The stank of grease and limp bacon fills the room with my shame.I am leading a double life. I eat fast food in the car. Unfortunately, it's getting harder and harder to cover my tracks. It was no small coincidence that a police car drove by just as I was deep-throating the new Pacific shrimp burrito from Taco Bell in the backseat of my car. Luckily, the promise of Seattle-based hipster crustaceans and Asian cars are two of the things that make me crave burritos the most, so I was rough and ready. It was a sobering experience for me, being booked for first degree overt sexual activity on a once-animate edible and handcuffed to the side of a police cruiser, salsa fresca all over my lips, but now I've seen the errors of my ways. I'm just not picking food convenient enough for my addiction.I've never been a burrito kind of girl. I like 'em thick and meaty, like a hastily scarfed burger squished in between the driver's seat and the console, Eddie Money blasting to distract from the heat fogging up the window. Burritos have always struck me as long and hefty, but without a whole lot of substance. They usually get limp midway through and never have enough staying power to keep me interested for the duration of the gorging session. But some of my best meals have consisted of shrimp, crispy object, and avocados in harmony, so I took the plunge.They say that once you go burrito, you'll never eat incognito. Must be Spanish for burgers, but I don't think that's the case for me. This particular specimen is called the Pacific shrimp burrito but might as well be called the Mixed Salad and Topping burrito. The first six bites were all vegetables, sauce, and tortilla strips in a colorful array inside the tortilla. Not terrible, but I didn't pay close to $4 for that kind of sloppy job, either. When I did encounter a shrimp, I was pretty pumped, because it looked chock full of seasonings. Unfortunately, it was quite bland and tasted like all the shrimpiness had been cooked out of it. Its somewhat disturbing mushiness made it blend into the mixed salad even more.The remaining elements of the burrito were done quite well, with the sauce covering all the vegetables evenly and highlighting their freshness. It could have well as been a vaguely Southwestern salad with the avocado sauce and the addition of crispy-staying tortilla strips. The flavor of the shrimp may have been better highlighted with a less tangy sauce, like a jalapeno mayonnaise or dressing. I was especially pleased that there was no rice in this, my least favorite burrito filling. But overall, it was disappointing to find that the shrimp blended in with everything so well that they basically disappeared. I'm going back to burgers in the back of the car. The fuzz may have discouraged me, but they'll never stop my craving for cheap, meaty action. Stealth lunches cannot be stopped, merely deterred.

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