KeVita Sparkling Probiotic Coconut Refreshment

I'm the first to admit that I'm literally the world's foremost expert on everything, especially gourmet food, dark chocolate, and haute cuisine. Emeril can take a goddamned seat. And I know that most people agree with me. Hell, I've even gotten over my self-proclaimed Kryptonite, mushrooms. Better yet, I've made peace with the vile scum and we've reached a quiet understanding.
However, there was one thing I had to cross off my bucket list that I knew would be a tough one. Worse than watching Keepitcoming Love laugh at my old "claw hand + cell phone" photos from the backlogs of '09, I've always been kind of squicked out by kombucha. You'd think fermented anything wouldn't be something that would gross me out. Maybe it's the fact that it's made with something called a "mother mushroom" which is a kind name compared to the fact that it's literally a giant floating ball of bacteria in your lefthanded Limoges teacup.
And guess what? This drink isn't kombucha. I'm a huge baby. But this is probiotic, a good start to infiltrating your body with tiny, superpowered microorganisms. This was given to me by our good friend the German Shepherd Whisperer. I drank this pretty quickly. And I didn't turn into Jamie Lee Curtis as a result my "irregularity." I'm so regular, guys. This drink, from KeVita, is pretty darned tasty. When you overlook the fact that the carbonation isn't from good ol' CO2, it tastes like a well-crafted, delicious soda. This drink makes me want to take up yoga and go out for a jog. It has a clean, fresh mild flavor, including that textured creaminess that coconuts have. The probiotics round the drink out with an earthy, yogurty tang. With the bubbles in abundance, it's more complex than your average Coke and has a restrained sweetness that makes it hard to resist. While it took me a while to adjust to the lack of a sugary onslaught, I realized I liked it quite a bit.
The drink left me with a full feeling and satisfied my sweet tooth. It was really tasty, and even the bubbles looked livelier. I feel like this would work well as a supplement to a juice fast. Not that I've ever tried any of those. I'm proposing to bifidobacteria tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes.

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