As part of my extended, extended, extended, four years running resolution to get fit, I've joined the gym again. Note that nowhere in that sentence, does it claim how much weight I've lost or how many pounds I can lift or craigslist-esque bathroom mirror photos of me flexing with my shirt off. One of my biggest pet peeves is people who indirectly brag about their gym success while all the while looking like enormous fatasses. Only when you lose the weight with effort and an awesome trainer (pics or it didn't happen) can you effectively brag. (And yes, I listened to the entire Karate Kid soundtrack while photographing this. Be jealous.)
But yes, the fact still remains that I have joined the gym. And to get my money's worth, I must actually go to the gym. Sometimes this takes a little motivation, like going when I know there's a block of my favorite Food Network shows, or having an especially long session before a large or special dinner, but sometimes I'm just too damned tired. And when water and electroshock therapy don't do the trick, out comes a coffee or, in the worst case scenario, an energy drink. When a package from ARMA Energy SNX arrived at the house today, I decided to test out their energy-infused snacks to see if they'd be a part of my gym repertoire.
The most appealing flavor, C4, housed in a durable missile shell-shaped can with graphic enhancements that overcompensate for its size, featured a mixture of chocolate, caramel, cookie, and caffeine mix and a fun fact on the side to boot. Did you know that ARMA Energy is a premium energy drink? Already, I can see an issue with using these as an energy supplement before exercise. By having a pack of these as a snack, you're downing 380 calories and 40% of your daily recommended value of saturated fat before you even hit the treadmill. For someone on a reduced calorie diet, it's not ideal. And even as a regular snack on a 2,000 calories a day, it eats up quite a lot and amounts to roughly two candy bars' worth of calories.
As you know, I have no problem indulging if something is delicious and unique enough. Unfortunately, the end result tastes like the remnants of a Halloween haul on November 30th. All the quality, brand-name stuff is gone, leaving behind melted unwrapped hunks of sugary caramel, off-brand chocolate that crumbles and stale cookies. While I admire the snack's ability to put "energy" or at least a ton of vitamins into its contents without imparting a metallic flavor, the flavor that is there is basically nonexistent and one-noted.
The uncoated cookies seemed a little redundant when mixed in with the chocolate-covered cookies but provided a little visual contrast. This certainly didn't live up to its explosive name and had a flavor more akin to a knockoff Twix bar- grainy, overly sweet, and hideously chewy like the bastard son of a Tootsie Roll. As far as an energy peak, despite collecting the full set of B vitamins, I experienced no more of a peak in my workout than if I had eaten a candy bar. Just a sugar rush and inevitable crash culminating in my passing out in front of Modern Family. Not something that I'd consider a viable energy source or even a decent snack after a workout.
Labels: 1, caffeine, chocolate, snack