I'm in college, but I'm not Van Wilder, so now is the time when the academic system starts anxiously tapping her toes, looking at the clock on the wall and asking the perpetually unanswered question: so, what are you going to do for the rest of your life? I've mentioned here that I want to study law. As a result of the relentless eyes of the system on my back, I've been face-deep in the LSAT instead of face-deep in cupcakes and puppies as I would personally have it and have started applying all the LSAT theories to the meaningless details of my life. Believe me, you know you're not making any friends when you start accusing your own grandmother of denying the premise fallacy every time she draws a connection between Clinton and the aliens. In the arguments section of the LSAT, there is a tool called the transitive property, which basically gives the conclusion that if A is true in relation to B, and that B is true in relation to C, we can conclude that because A is true, C is also true.
This crossed my mind while I was eating these cheese poofs from Herr's today. I know, I'm a freaking savant. A large box of these came in the mail a while ago and I've been whittling down my supply in moments of sheer anxiety, because nothing says professional like a sweating hand covered in cheese dust. While eating the delicious tubes, the following occurred to me: Out of the 889 posts I've written in the past few years, there has been a trend. If I review a food that supposedly imitates another food, I am judging it based on its successful resemblance to both products. If it successfully resembles both products, I will give it a good rating. But what if a product resembles neither of its two forms yet is still freaking awesome? The moral of the story, of course, is that it's incredibly silly to presuppose a working theory onto a freaking cheese puff review.
Regardless, this product scientifically contains all of the components that are designed and curved to tickle my pleasure enhancers. Buffalo sauce diluted to a powdery, sticky form, the flavor of blue cheese without the nasty texture and moldiness of blue cheese, and an incredibly soft, yielding texture like a crunchy memory foam pillow. I quite enjoyed these. With an addictive texture and crammable shape, they made for a unique twist on a traditional snack that could accompany a sandwich without taking away the attention.
However, I didn't feel like the buffalo flavor was distinct enough to pick it out of a lineup of other generic sauces. The blue cheese was softened in flavor enough to take some of the harsh tanginess out, also a good sign. Although one package contains 10 grams of fat and 15% of your daily sodium, I can't resist eating a few now and then and saving the rest for later. Their front and forward saltiness makes it satisfying to just eat a few.
Did it remind me of buffalo wings? Not at all. Did it remind me of cheese curls? Barely. By all definitions, it was a failure of my transitive property argument. It was still a spectacular snack, though, and one that I'd get again if I just wanted something a little strange. Besides, it beats studying for the LSAT at a crowded bar, over a plate of questionable chicken wings.
Labels: 8, cheese, chips, hot, snack