Foodette's Review-o-tastic Format Draft 6.2, 2012
Intro sequence: start banter. Vaguely relevant statement about [INSERT BRAND NAME HERE] in relation to [INSERT ACTIVITY, ANNOYANCE, PERSON, FILM, OTHER FOOD HERE] Three sentences max, segue to product features.
Body: Mention other reviewers. Do not steal their jokes. Rewrite them cleverly. Product features- dust off prop table, wipe free of stains, and include hilarious photo. Kittens? Flavor profile. Compare to hilarious and/or relatible and/or gross household object. Like or dislike? If like, profusely overuse word "decadent," "amazing," "not too sweet," etc. If dislike, turn to page 73, yap about Oprah or Krang. End review, 0-10 rating. Tweet extensively, bold strategically.
Oh, hi, I didn't see you there! I was just thinking about how much I hate camping. Did you know that camping involves s'mores if you're not a vegan and that Jell-O just came out with a new S'mores flavor for their Jell-O Brand Jell-O Pudding Line, including the flavor Strawberry Sundae? It's new and it's delicious and it's especially for cool mothers and college students who want all the fun and childhood memories of s'mores, Clarissa Explains It All, and experimenting at Bat Mitzvah after-parties with the convenience of pudding.
I may be swimming against the tide here because many a reviewer has tried this and disliked it, primarily citing lack of graham crackers its reason for failure. I am, of course, excluding most mommy blogs from this sample as the most critical they typically get is calling something only kind of great. Even I, a staunch member of the Sylvester Party voting against Prop SM2, which strives to make open-faced s'mores a tradition with half the graham cracker necessary to be amazing, fell completely in love with this pudding. I got the package from Kraft yesterday morning and I've already eaten four puddings. What really did it for me was the marshmallow. I've got to admit that I'm really not a marshmallow fan but the squishy, mousse-like texture of the marshmallow layer on top, an airy top reminiscent of the Jell-O temptations line, had a malty flavor that threw me over the edge.
Underneath that was a chocolate layer and while I didn't get a whole lot of chocolate flavor it provided a necessary solid body to the marshmallow and lent an indulgent creaminess to the whole affair. The two combined tasted wonderful and weren't too heavy or gelatinous at all. Just amazing. I liked these over both the Strawberry Sundae line and the Temptations line, and while I haven't put a pack of pudding cups on my bank statement in at least five years, I'm impressed with these enough to get them again. Oprah would love these and should give them away instead of a car, I'mma go Tweet, and that's a wrap.
Did I miss something?
Labels: 8, chocolate, dessert, snack
I may be swimming against the tide here because many a reviewer has tried this and disliked it, primarily citing lack of graham crackers its reason for failure. I am, of course, excluding most mommy blogs from this sample as the most critical they typically get is calling something only kind of great. Even I, a staunch member of the Sylvester Party voting against Prop SM2, which strives to make open-faced s'mores a tradition with half the graham cracker necessary to be amazing, fell completely in love with this pudding. I got the package from Kraft yesterday morning and I've already eaten four puddings. What really did it for me was the marshmallow. I've got to admit that I'm really not a marshmallow fan but the squishy, mousse-like texture of the marshmallow layer on top, an airy top reminiscent of the Jell-O temptations line, had a malty flavor that threw me over the edge.
Underneath that was a chocolate layer and while I didn't get a whole lot of chocolate flavor it provided a necessary solid body to the marshmallow and lent an indulgent creaminess to the whole affair. The two combined tasted wonderful and weren't too heavy or gelatinous at all. Just amazing. I liked these over both the Strawberry Sundae line and the Temptations line, and while I haven't put a pack of pudding cups on my bank statement in at least five years, I'm impressed with these enough to get them again. Oprah would love these and should give them away instead of a car, I'mma go Tweet, and that's a wrap.
Did I miss something?