Finals! They make me want to cry and laugh and tear out my hair and smash my computer and take a road trip to Tennessee and binge eat a lot of cheese and never, ever, ever write another paper using the following phrases ever again: hegemonic, platitudinous, sublimity, dialectic, linguistic, and mutated hybrid logic game. Luckily, I'm a lightweight and can easily coast on the sugar rush of a strategically placed cookie or hastily gulped Coke, its syrup streaming down my shirt as I write yet another analysis of subjective feminist literature 18th century based academic spamming keyword having. Ugh. I'm surprised I can string together a single sentence before wanting.
And that's where the pies from Krispy Kreme come in. In addition to quelling my fear of failing out of the 94th best national university, it also brought back some serious nostalgia to my brain, serving as an edible testimony to The One Time Connecticut Was Special And Something Nobody Else in New England Had Before Sonic. We had a short-lived Krispy Kreme. It didn't end well. But these are a pretty damned good replacement when I need a hot doughnut fix (Editor's Note: Check Urban Dictionary before posting thi-eeeeeeeeeeeeeew.) and don't feel like hitchhiking to New Jersey in the process.
The new pies come in your standard fruit flavors, like apple and cherry, but the new limited edition summer flavor is lemon pie. Instead of incorporating bitter lemon peel or sugared lemon pieces or miniature lemons or anything trendy and potentially gross, they've gone the classic route: lemon cream. And boy, is it ever delicious. That is, if you're looking for another way to ingest 400 calories, which is like saying that buying around 1,600 gumballs is a good way to spend that extra $400 you've got lying around. It's both excessive and a little too indulgent for the average beast.
Nevertheless, I enjoyed the flavor- there's something to be said for a mass-produced dessert that is able to accurately mimic the joy of eating homemade diner-esque pie, but I digress. I've always had an affinity for hand-held pies, this one is no different. The cream filling is nestled in a rather thick, doughy crust, flaky and yielding with each bite. Krispy Kreme touts the fact that these are freshly made and best enjoyed no more than a day after purchase. Surprisingly, the whole pastry comes together well without being overly sweetened, a typical offense for snacks of this ilk. It has a tangy, fresh flavor abundant in citrus delight and doesn't shy away from a little bitterness from the lemon rind. While I thought the thick, sticky layer of glaze on top was a hair too much for me, I did like that it reminded me very much of a souped-up version of what the company is most famous for- doughnuts! Don't discount these if you see them in the supermarket. They soar well beyond the Hostess Fruit Pies of the world.