Prometheus Springs Chili Mango

Happy Cinco de Mayo. Or at least it would be a happy one if going to a Mexican restaurant around here wasn't like playing Russian Roulette. We have two decent Mexican places here, one of which is open on erratic days, and the other of which is a popular favorite of parents with screaming kids. Both were overflowing with Corona-pickled bros tonight. There are two more places, but with menu items like quesabbqburrito mashup with fried refried deep-fried beans, is there really even a point? I digress. We were tired and went the sandwich route this year, which was as delicious or possibly even more delicious than hearing David Bowie through a synthesizer-enhanced Dobro. But that doesn't mean that we didn't celebrate.
Prometheus Springs is quickly becoming my new favorite thing ever, and that's not solely because their logo is "fire for the mortals" or due to their adorable usage of emoticons on their packaging. Or even because they send this flavor over for us to try. It's because, quite simply, they're freaking badass. Look at those flavors. Ignore, for a moment, that their logo looks like something you'd dream of, but never dare, tattoo on your body. Ourobouros is like, "Yeah, I'm eating my own tail. U mad bro?" Put aside the fact that there are six different ways to prepare this drink on the side of the bottle. Instead please check out the flavors. Lychee Wasabi. Citrus Cayenne. It's silly to even review this because it gets a ten. They all get a ten. Ten for you, Glen Coco. We have spent upwards of one 2012 Toyota's worth, or two 1998 Neon's worth, on Pomegranate Black Pepper alone.
Regardless, it's good to know what's out there in the great, wide, refrigerated world, kicking Nantucket Nectar's ass and making Juicy Juice its bitch. Chili Mango has a nose that seasoned connoisseurs will immediately recognize as a mid-90's Snapple Mango Madness, with a clean, floral scent, almost delicate, and underlying sharpness. The chili has awakened. The flavor is by no means sharp, though. While I was left wishing the mango was a little richer in this, lacking the thick indulgence of mango nectar or juice, the acidity and general flavor was clear and pure. The spice comes and goes as a prickle, but it's a jolt on the back of your tongue. Not unpleasant or bitter, and in no way tasting like Tabasco or even chili powder's pungency. Just clean heat and a little buzz to start- or end- the day with.

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