Arby's Jamocha Oreo Shake

As I type this at the highly respectable hour of 3:55 in the morning, I am reminded as to why I really ought to drink coffee at a more polite hour. Last night, we were at a wedding of some dear friends, and I happened to slurp down a gin and tonic and coffee in succession, and then wildly dance to Rihanna and Creedence Clearwater. And now it's four in the morning and I'm wandering around the house like a zombie, considering pulling an all-nighter but hoping that my own prose will bore me to sleep.

The Jamocha Oreo shake from Arby's didn't have this nocturnal affect on my brain, despite the fact that I drank it in the morning as I would my regular cup of joe. Actually, the only symptom of strangeness I had was the mental association the coffee flavor bought me. Arby's uses very, very cheap coffee in its shakes, which has an adverse effect on how I perceive it to taste. Very, very cheap coffee reminds me of hotel lobbies and convention centers, with a burnt pungency to its nose, but hotel lobbies and convention centers make me think of nice things, like vacations. In this reverse logic, I somehow managed to equate a milkshake from Arby's with high-quality, non-recession based activities. I drank it over the course of three days.
I'm not sure why I was given a large shake instead of a small, as I requested. It could have been the good graces of the Arby's gods shining down upon me, rewarding me for driving to Chicopee, or the evil fates of Hellfire's spawn, condemning my arteries to a destiny more torturous than I'd originally decided to subject them to. Oh well.
The shake was visually appealing, with wide zebra stripes of chocolate fudge running horizontally through the cup. It was one of the first products I'd tried where the real life item resembled the press release. The fudge was a tier better than Hershey's syrup, too, with a rich viscosity and flavor, providing a strange contrast to the crappy coffee flavor. The Oreo flavor was bolder than I'd originally expected- the shake maker was obviously "on" that day and included chunks of Oreo not only on top, but in a fairly thick bottom layer. The pieces started out crunchy and fresh, and the larger ones were difficult to suck through the straw. With those, I had to strain and suck really hard on it, and with the pressure building up from my lips, the contents eventually exploded all over my mouth. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? I spent ten minutes cleaning the grey goo off my face.
Strangely enough, the combination of rich chocolate, Oreos that got progressively mushier, and cheap coffee grounds was appealing in its own way. Although I couldn't enjoy more than a few sips at a time, the shake had a consistency and flavor that I enjoyed. I feel like it's far better than the shakes from other fast food restaurants, and has a unique and iconic flavor that sets it apart from the standard Neapolitan trio.