Chocolate Week #3: Kraft Chocolate MilkBite

Recently, Kraft has launched an aggressive marketing campaign for their newest product, Kraft MilkBite. It's a strange hybrid snack with nutrition facts in both the refrigerator and the shelf-stable world, a granola bar with a penchant for the cold, or if you're feeling really pessimistic, solid calcium in snack form. Luckily, they seem to be abundantly aware of this and have created Woody Allen's incredibly funny edible counterpart, Mel the MilkBite, a Jim Henson character who agonizes over his split identity issues. There, there, Mel. We've all been there. Also I'm kind of into you and would eat you if given the cha- oh, helloooooo.
But what really piqued my curiosity about this bar was if it would live up to its expectations as both a milk supplement and tasty granola bar. Comparing it to a regular, healthy granola bar, say, a Kashi Fruit 'n' Nut bar, it has roughly five times the calcium. While I don't necessarily need a calcium supplement in my diet, it presents a more palatable alternative for someone who does than just chugging a gallon of milk like you're trying to beat some stupid YouTube challenge.

Kraft sent along a few varieties of MilkBite bars, including chocolate, which I thought would be fun to feature for Chocolate Week. While I was initially dubious about the inclusion of cream as the third ingredient, my anxiety dissipated as it dawned on me that the chocolate bar, with a dark chocolate drizzle and miniature chocolate chips, had the precise texture and chew of raw cookie dough, down to the fine, yet sandy texture and bulky chew. And amazingly, not too sweet at all, so I didn't feel like I was eating a candy bar with my lunch. After all, that's why I packed three candy bars with my sandwich. I hate to be redundant.
The milk in this bar is unobtrusive and tastes like a key component, rather than other failed attempts to include milk in a portable bar. (Trix Milk 'n' Cereal, anyone?) The indulgent texture makes it seem like more of a treat than its nutrition facts say, and the chocolate flavor is malty and balanced in proportion to the rest of the bar. While the other flavors may taste different, I can definitely say that if I had a real job where I brought a lunch to work for my coworkers to ogle and plot stealing, a frozen MilkBite would definitely replace the leaking ice pack surrounding my awesome sandwich and spiked Capri Sun. Also, Mel, please call me.